This one is for my Mom

Where to start?
I have really missed keeping up with our family blog, but if I am being 100% honest, I just have not made it a priority. So much has taken place since my last post. Fun and exciting outings, milestone and momentous moments, big firsts, ups and downs with personal life and child rearing. Looking back now I wish I had indeed taken the time to record each of those events be them small or large. This is where I am at in life at this moment. A mom struggling to juggle all the many hats we as moms wear - homemaker, meal planner & preparer, household banker, primary child caregiver, friend and most importantly my role as a wife. Since I already stated I would be 100% honest I will share that I feel I have failed miserably in most of the above areas as of recent. I have continued to maintain the house for the most part but can say that I am more than relieved that my somewhat severe tendency toward house cleaning has been kicked to the curbside. I feel like a super star if I do indeed have a well balanced meal prepared and on the table for my family for supper. The frustrating part is 9 out of 10 times the kids refuse to eat it and I (even in my 2nd trimester) still prefer a bowl of cereal or a PB bagel, so we have wasted a lot of good meat and vegetables lately. Argh! I, for the first time in my adult life, have paid two bills (Kohl's and VISA) a day late over the course of the past month. Do you know what that equals? Late fees! And if you want to see my tail feathers ruffled charge me a late fee when it is my own darn fault!! Several friendships have fallen by the wayside as I have been wrapped up in myself and my families needs. I think this pregnancy threw me into a tailspin. Please don't misinterpret that as saying that I am not over the moon excited about this little blessing because I am! I was pretty miserable my entire 1st trimester and leading into the first several weeks of the 2nd trimester. Enter week 15 through the current and I started to panic about everything that I no longer have and need to care for a newborn. I obsessed about taking inventory of what I had remaining and started hitting garage sales & the kids consignment sales hard. If any of you are still with me I will now share the #1 reason I have fallen off the blogging stratosphere. Life with kids can be tough. I mean really tough! I have two beautiful, wonderful, God fearing children, but those two have a little bit of the devil living in them :) I do not recall going through the struggles with Gabrielle that we are currently facing with Dawson. He was our child who never rocked the boat in the sense of getting into things he shouldn't, disobeying or discrediting authority, etc etc. Starting about three weeks ago that all changed for us. We jokingly and affectionately call him Pistol Pete or Dawson the Destroyer, but let me tell you he fits the names. There have been periods throughout the recent weeks where I frequently hear myself say out loud "Dawson, I am not playing your games right now," "Dawson, we said no and no means no now get down, shut the door, come inside, etc," "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!" "Do you want me to swat your bottom?" "If I hear those potty words come out of your mouth again, you will get vinegar on your tongue" (this one always gets his attention!). You get the point. Many of you may be thinking this is normal 2 - 3 yr old behavior. I beg to differ with you. I shared with my women's Bible study group that I am contemplating scheduling a consultation with a child psychologist to establish if this is a true clinical case of sensory disorder or adolescent obsessive compulsive behavior. I could share sooooooo much more on this topic, but will spare you reading a book. Just know that I am still crazy in the love with the kid and that we have more good/great times of loving and sharing in the day than we do the bad. It is just that the bad tends to be really bad right now. We will be traveling this weekend to NW Iowa to spend time with some people that are very near and dear to us. I would ask for prayers that we have a smooth, tantrum free weekend. I am concerned as anytime we travel our kids schedules are compromised, they don't get the luxury of sleeping in their own beds and they tend to get over stimulated by the activities and surroundings.
Since this post has primarily focused on our struggles with our little man I will leave you with a handful of pictures from his 3rd birthday which we celebrated this Tuesday the 21st. Enjoy!
Please, please leave me a comment letting me know you have stopped by so I know someone out there is still reading this blog and if you have any psychologist referrals or recommendations on behavior modification I beg you to share.



"Look, I am 3!"