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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Indelible Art

I just picked up (and once I did, I found it hard to put back down) the book My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. If you haven't read this book or seen the major motion movie yet I strongly suggest you do. It was an easy, fabulous, somewhat gut wrenching read. There were several statements the author made in the book which I wish I would have dog tagged or written down to reference back on but I didn't. The ONE that did stand out which resonated with me was the following:
Sara (the mom in the book) was reminiscing about her "previous life" working in corporate America prior to having children and then went on to say "that was before I understood that the smile of a child is a tattoo: indelible art."
I struggled with the decision to quite a job I loved - really loved - and found great satisfaction in to stay home with my children. I had such questions as "where will I receive the same fulfillment in knowing I am making a difference in someones life, do I have the patience to be with my kids full time, will I ever be provided the opportunity to return to the work force and hold a position of such great regard as I do now, can we make it financially, will be able to maintain our current lifestyle or find a new level of comfort, will I find satisfaction in my new "work role", and so forth. Well, the past two years have answered most of those questions and leave me wondering why back then I tried to be the one to be in control. I have been provided the opportunity to gain and nurture some amazing new friendships as well as build on previous ones. I DON'T have the patience required to be the best mom I have the potential to be however I am confident that I am an amazing mommy and am really working toward being more quiet, still, patient with my kids. I indeed find satisfaction in my role as a SAHM even in times of toddler tantrums, toilet training, mundane meal planning, the endless game of pick up & cleaning, etc. Will I return to the work force doing something I love and in a position of such respect? That is unknown, but for now I will relish in the job set before me. A friend once affirmed my first question about making a difference in anothers life by assuring me I AM making a difference in anothers life - the most important two little people in my life. And for that I am grateful!
The smiles of my children are like a tattoo (the only form I will ever sport!).
I will wear them like indelible art.

1 comment:

Rene' said...

Thanks for sharing your heart! It's nice to read how you feel about things from time to time.. no matter what any mom tells you..ALL of us are growing in this area. That's the joy of being in these moments we are in now...living each day as though it was our last.. living it to our fullest and relying on God. (all things you said!..well not verbatum..but you know what I mean)

Love
Rene'